But.

I’m terrified. I’m moving forward
and upwards and onwards, and deciding,
organising.
But inside I’m terrified.
It sits as a weight, at the top of my
back, my cervical spine.
It’s pushing down now, it always is.
The doctor prescribed treatment and
movements.
But I know what it is, and it isn’t physical,
I’m terrified, and it’s pushing me down.
You’re dead and long gone,
But you sit there too, at the top of my
cervical spine
You’re a force that lifts me up not
down, you remind me to smile, to
look up at the trees.
I’m terrified but.

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